Eternal truths
1. Once over the hill, you pick up speed.
2. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
3. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
4. If the shoe fits, buy it in every colour.
5. If you look like your passport photo, you probably need the trip.
6. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
7. Some days are a total waste of make-up.
8. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
9. A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.
10. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
11. Rubbish is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
12. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
Source: Maritime Advocate Online
